Bullying Is Not an LGBT Trait

I’ve been receiving these “not gonna make my day” types of messages from time to time. Well, I’m sorry that their daughter had to experience this. But at the same time please be aware that some people with Asperger’s are also harassing LGBT+ individuals in a blatantly rude manner. More importantly, some autistic people are members of the LGBT+ community themselves. The overlap between the two identities does exist.

I know it’s pretty natural and understandable for parents to be protective, but it’s not okay to cancel an entire community on the grounds of the bad behaviour of some members. You don’t even know which communities your children are going to be in when they grow up. Your intolerance may limit their scope at best and augment their identity confusion at worst. Love for someone is not necessarily expressed through hostility toward another. LIVE AND LET LIVE.

That said, some members of the LGBT+ community also need to be empathetic. If you want to be accepted by most people, you have to be tolerant of some people’s intolerance. Don’t go overboard. Never assume ALL people are bound to like you.

Bullies are bullies. They could be straight, gay, or bi. They could be cis or trans. I agree with the message sender — humans are humans. Bullying is a matter of human nature, not a gay / bi / trans trait. So, why should we rebuke someone just because they happen to be gay, les, or trans? If a straight guy had bullied your kid, would you put the blame on the entire straight population (probably including yourself)?

At the end of the day, identity and behaviour are two distinct topics. While I have zero tolerance of bullying, it would be injudicious to say the entire community where the bully belongs is a haven for demons.